This is a rare video that speaks directly to me, so I will share it with the rest of the world.

A video by fiilmaker, Andrea Dorfman, and poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis.

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym. If you’re shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they — like you — will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You’re no less intriguing a person when you’re eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching…because, they’re probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there’re always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might’ve never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school’s groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you’re happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn’t mean you’re not connected, that communitie’s not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn’t get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

El Bob spends his second day in Old Bahama Bay resort trying to avoid all the bugs.

El Bob smells friends.

Oh no, not friends, coconut french toast!

El Bob still wants to try some.

El Bob is happy he is not ugly, nor a man.

What do you get when you mix Patrón with coconut rum? El Bob of course!

El Bob gets his favorite drink, piña colada.

El Bob needs help on the swing, he can’t swing his legs.

A part of me likes to stay mysterious while the other part is an open book. For the most part, I’ve created an “online personality” for the purpose of marketing my work. To present the work I do, I believe you need plenty of confidence and deliberateness. Just like wild predators, the viewers and critics can smell fear and self doubt, but at the same time they are attracted to someone who knows what they are doing. As an artist, I have to tell it how it should be rather than asking how you think I should make it. I have never been the type to look for a community of artists to share work with, instead, I only care about my own creations and interests while sharing it with the public. I don’t like to kiss ass with my clients, I don’t like giving disclaimers to justify a sub-par piece of work, I don’t like selling Photoshop Actions for an arm and leg, I just let my work do the talking.

There is an apparent disadvantage of creating an online personality – people will believe it and take you for what you present. This comes with many false assumptions about who I am. For the most part, I don’t care what people outside of my immediate circle thought of me, in fact, my goal was to create awe, envy and maybe even jealousy. I wish I could say my personal life was strictly separated from my work, but that is impossible and the lines are crossing more and more, as most of my acquaintances and so-called friends are people whom I’ve met through my work.

Long story short, while I still intend to keep the cocky, snobby, jerkish personality online, I meet many people in person who find it a relief to know that I am quite the opposite. While they realize I am a nice guy immediately, I still have to answer the same questions over and over – which brings me to the purpose of this entry. These are a few quick facts about the man behind the camera.

Personal Facts

I am a very shy and introverted person without a camera, and sometimes still shy with a camera.
I don’t talk to strangers or random girls, ever. They need to come up to me first.
I hate trivial conversations.
I don’t drink alcohol, and I have never done drugs.
I hate parties.
I have been single 98.148% of my life.
I am a hopeless romantic.
I do not sleep with models.
I kissed two girls in my entire life.
I always enjoy a good wedding.
I eat to live, not live to eat.
I have been told I am very gentle.
Some people call me Deadpan Tony, Tony Balogna, Turtle, ynot, T.
I have a very deadpan personality.
I have a dysfunctional family.
I will shoot my own destination wedding, with little to no guests.
I hate hearing all my female friends wanting me to be their wedding photographer if they ever find a man and get married. I hope you never find that person.
I have dry humor.
I love hotels.
I spend money like water.
I love driving more than photography.
I drive 25,000 miles a year.
I love really loud music to the point I can’t hear myself think.
I am always online.
I suck at math.
I have number dyslexia and terrible short term memory.

Professional Facts

I am a visual artist, majored in graphic design, graduated BFA from Mason Gross (Rutgers).
I can draw and paint, but I suck at sculpture.
I have been using Adobe Photoshop since 3.0 in 1994.
I started photography with 35mm film on my brother’s Canon Rebel.
Most of my models are not aspiring or professional models, they probably work in your office.
My modeling work is strictly a hobby and not a job, besides, aspiring models do not have money.
I search for models online, either through MySpace or Model Mayhem.
My most expensive hotels range from $600 – $800 per night.
I prefer shooting indoors with controlled lighting and privacy. If I had to shoot outdoors, I prefer a secluded beach on an exotic island.
I prefer working with 27-31 year old subjects.
I rarely use makeup artists.
I have been to 113 weddings since 2005.
I’m a PC.
I program in PHP and MySQL.
I work 9-5 in an office.
I hate Nikon skin tones.
I only shoot in JPEG.
I don’t use color profiles.
I don’t join forums and talk about photography. I take photos. Don’t be the second type of photographer.
I don’t buy new camera bodies just because it’s new. That makes you a measurebator.

Closing

I have recently been more motivated to get out and talk to people and let them discover who I am. I am an open book for anyone that genuinely wants to know more about me. I dare you to ask the personal questions, I urge you to express your feelings, I challenge you to intrigue me.

Addendum

I’ve been waiting forever to share this image. Here is a quote to be paired with the photograph.

I never cared to be known as the pretty girl. In fact, I’d rather be known as the lab geek or girl who can scarf down more In-N-Out burgers than all her boys. Just because I have modeled doesn’t mean I care to be known as a model. To me that title implies watching what you eat and I love food too much for that. I made sure Tony knew before we started working together a year and a half ago that I don’t fit the typical model mold. So let me attempt to rewrite that definition so that it is tailored to each individual. Me: I am strong – physically, mentally, emotionally – and I can rule the world in sweat pants and sneakers. Put me in front of or behind the camera and I’ll be equally satisfied. Put yourself in front of Tony’s camera and he’ll show you beauty is about how you feel.

Nicole

Victoria is Swiss, Irish, and Cuban, and she is signed by NEXT agency in Miami. She had the most upbeat energy out of all the other models, which create a different vibe in the photographs. As much as I love intimate and sensual photos, I started my modeling photography looking for happy-playful characters and have always loved the results. It is a rare treat to find someone who can be photogenic while being silly in front of the lens. When I want to create playful-sexy photos, I think about Alessandra Ambrosio’s Victoria’s Secret photos. Victoria also happens to have the most freckles on any girls I’ve ever captured, and that might have been one of the reasons for choosing her. One thing you might notice in my photos is that I love sheer tops and soft, light fabrics. It falls easily on the skin, and just as easily falls off the skin. With the proper lighting, it also shines through the fabric to reveal the silhouette of the body. Sheer fabrics also convey the sense of warmth and comfort.

These photos were taken at the same secret location on the next day. The number one reason why I chose the location was the outside bath tub, which really wasn’t private at all. All photos are 100% natural light.